Top five reasons to have a hot girlfriend for the Average Joe (in the work place)

reasons to have a hot girlfriend

in the work place for the average Joe

Other men will think you have a big dick, and that you know how to actually know how to use it.

Women will be impressed and for some reason suddenly have a crush on you.

This will work to your benefit greatly at work however, not with your girlfriend because she may or may not be the jealous type and shit might go down.

People will now you as as Average Joe  followed by, have you seen his girlfriend? She is hot. And a positive non objective conversation will be brought up about you when you are not around.  This is good.

You may impress your bosses if they are male and the following can be done, If your girlfriend is a known mega bitch avoid prolonged conversations with authority. This may weaken the intensity of the mystery. Continue to introduce her to different people. I am sure she is a peach in confrontable social situations. If your girlfriend is as nice as she looks Let them chat away. Your boss will be enchanted and you may get a raise. 

No one is sad to see you leave or go because they know you are going home to bang your hot girlfriend. High fives will ensue. Erotic hand gestures may occur. 

 

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Punky Mummy science nerd Baby Belly fun facts

1. DRINK SO MUCH WATER Amniotic fluid is recycled every three hours! Your womb is full of this stuff its the swimming pool that gives life to your baby. You wouldnt want your baby swimming in a dirty pool. 8 glasses of water is great but drink a little more while your pregnant especially in 1st and 3rd trimester. Amazing isnt it?

http://www.babycenter.com/0_low-amniotic-fluid-oligohydramnios_1199460.bc?showAll=true

  check out this link for more information!

2. Does your heart feel fluttery? Don't worry your body during pregnancy going more blood and fluids making your heart grow around 12% while pregnant. Wow so keeping stress levels down is super important. Try breathing excersizes that are safe for the 1st trimester. I feel this pregnancy yoga video is AWESOME! Try it, it may help as well with morning sickness.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B87FpWtkIKA Body Talk Daily pregnancy yoga episode 1

3. STAY AWAY FROM CERTAIN FOODS NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU CRAVE THEM, There is a healthier choice.
Food coloring dye
Bromine or anything brominated
Bleached flour I mean come on it has the word bleach in it
Aspartame not good we've known this forever and now its in everything
Olestra or Olean in potatoe chips causes anal leakage ew..
This article explain is greater detail take a look!

http://www.buzzfeed.com/ashleyperez/8-foods-we-eat-in-the-us-that-are-banned-in-other-countries

4.

Ignorance isn't bliss when it happens to you, cancer, disease, and society

   Coming from a middle class family with both parents you'd say I am lucky and dammit I feel lucky. We grew up in a house, We had pets and toys and clothes and food. We weren't rich, but we felt rich because we had everything we needed and we were happy. Oh the 90's where dropping bombs helplessly on other countries was fine, terrorism didn't exist or ahem... wasn't created yet, because we had no threat to our country.... Our dollar was in good standing, we were a beloved country and on the top of the economy.

   So what happened? Emphasis on education and health services tanked. The poison being served to us was kicking in. How do I know? From the countless mainstream records and even more truthful underground news media comes out. Other countries come here an expose our food and health practices. In my personal life my father survived colon cancer going through chemo and working a full time job as an insurance agent where he had to keep his condition a secret and paying out of pocket his entire retirement so he could keep his job. My aunt has been battling various cancer starting w breast cancer that has spread to her bones blood and now her lungs. Her daughter my cousin had lymphoma the size of a softball in her heart and lungs at the age of 17. She is fine now beside the trauma of living through chemo in high school and watching her mother. My Grandmother just passed a few years ago from breast cancer. My mother had cervical cancer several times before conceiving me which they told her was a miracle. So to say the least I am fucking pissed. I am angry that America serves us food, markets us food, gets us addicted to food, that is poison and is proven to kill. If you have never heard of eugenics. Look it up, Rockafellers, Rothschilds, the Warburgs all belive in this superficial reality to keep us dumbed down with food, who control the food systems. Big corporations. They even have gone as far to make it illegal to grow your own healthy with out paying them huge taxes and getting permits. Are you kidding me???? We now have to pay tax because a fruit tree in our backyard that our grandfather planted or cut it down??? I have so many links I need to add to this article. But please search for yourself. This is only one story, one life, one family that didn't deserve the poison in food and the air and the water we pay so much money that is suppose to be safe and sustain us. Mcdonalds destroys rain Forest to harvest soybeans to feed gmo chickens and makes upwards of 2.6 billion dollars a year. Where does that money go???? Who takes home that money and what do they do with it???

Does it benefit you or I? NO so why buy poison?? Why are we paying to kill ourselves and then paying to keep us alive with a quality of life that is so sub par. And it shows in just my facebook feed that nobody gives a fuck because why? Because we are so addicted to convenience.

   There is a purge happening, that's why Obama does not support education, but spends trillions in military armed vehicles and artillery and tanks that sit in our country. For who??? For us.

   I am now 3 months pregnant with a beautiful life in my body that I will protect at all cost and I feel alot of mothers and father feel the same way. But happy meals are what??? Happy? Happy death..... and marketed towards children getting them addicted at a young age and deploying it a happiness. Directing poison at children I feel in punishable, through trial through judgment of peers. I found out that my baby has a disease called Gastroschisis. What is it? It is where the bowels on the fetus develop outside of the babies body. It is the highest growing birth defect in the world. What causes it? They say they don't know. So I researched looks like it is caused by atravine, a pesticide used on crops. I was a raw vegan before I got pregnant now I'm eating meat for the health of my baby and because I am craving it like mad, but this makes sense. How do you weaken a massive group of people trying to be healthy? GMO and pesticides on fresh food. Its killing people and we know but most of us who live in the city are at the mercy of grocery stores and I am sorry but I can not afford Whole Foods products and farmers markets don't always coincide with my schedule, So traders Joes Ralphs and pavilions all have organic sections that are limited to the information that your given. And studies show that most of the food at whole food isn't completely organic or free of pesticide. Is this a joke?? I spend on average 40 dollars every time I go to whole foods and get a few items I can feel good about eating. I have no worries that my baby will be born perfect and healthy however, childhood obesity, cancers, defects, are on the rise. America is killing us with the food and water and we need to put up a fight.

Baby Dreams #2

Last Night was another weird dream.

I was very active in yoga before I got knocked up and I haven't been doing it since I found out a few weeks ago. My dream took me through a cascade of streets and desert landscapes to the city where I ran into my friend and fellow hairstylist Alfredo. He was outside a little yoga studio and had just finished a class. I asked if I could use the bathroom and he explained to me where it was and I went in. The studio was well light with hardwood floor in the usual light color many ballet studios I have danced in look like. That wood that gives the perfect amount. There were raptors above and rope ladders and weird gym rope work out equipment to get to the upper level where the bathroom was. I struggled my way up the easiest looking rope ladder which was much harder in my dream than I would have expected. The upstairs much resembled an art loft you would see hand built in an art studio warehouse build. Like a downtown project that was half finished unsafe looking, which made it all the more appealing to me. I ran into the owner I assume of the yoga studio who was a tall handsome thin man working on a computer. No one I had known in real life. He pointed me politely in the direction of the bathroom. It was surprising to me there was one designated for girls and one for boys. I went in and all over the floor was thick puke. It didn't smell in my dream so I could tolerate being in there. the vomit was bright orange filled with noodles and pieces of green jalapenos. So weird??? I sat there not wanting to throw up or use the men's bathroom. I woke up and went to the bathroom. Kinda struggling with morning sickness today. The watermelon definitely helped, but i did vomit it up once. I found that I like eating salted tortilla chips rather than crackers or bread. Bread and crackers you have to chew way to much which makes me want to throw it up even more.

Still interested in hearing your strange pregnancy dreams....

Crazy dreams? Pregnancy and sleep. Can temperature have something to do with it?

Okay here we are 8 weeks pregnant and so far I have had the strangest most vivid dreams.
One was quite disturbing so I have decided to post my dreams and hope to get posts back about your crazy baby dreams.


   Last night, well more like this morning I dreamt my friend Sara and I were going to dinner. She lives in West Hollywood and is a beautiful tan voluptuous blond babe. We arrive at dinner to be meeting Shaun White the pro snow boarder,

Shaun White

Professional snowboarder and skateboarder, Shaun White’s skateboarding career took place during the same time he was soaring through the snowboarding....

http://goldmedalgreats.com/talent/shaun-white/

and his whole ginger head family mostly brothers and sisters. We sit down to eat in a huge restaurant with different levels and stairs to a mezzanine where more guests were eating loudly surrounded by crystals sconces and whits candles sticks. We don't exactly eat we chat throw food laugh and my Dad comes strolling in. He's a tall 6'7 Jewish German with a great head of hair and matching mustache. Hes always dressing in nice trousers and a button up shirt sometime tie sometime not but never a jacket.

We find the Three of us, myself, Sara and my Dad going back to their hotel rooms which looks alot like my old apartment but larger. Two floors loft style with white carpet and tile. We walk around have weird conversation consisting of not much. I dont really aknowledge that I am preganant in this dream however in many dreams before I often say I am or am showing more than I am in a non dream state. All the suddently we are getting in my car my real life car which is a slightly beat up dark blue scion xb. Like the square box cars but the new rounder square. My car is completely filled with bottle rockets wrapped in light colorful wrapping stuffing papers. they are gold and pink and yelow looking sort of like umbrellas with out the handle. Before I knew it we are in full out war. Bottle rocket war through my car. Using my door as a sheild I start gettng smart about it shooting underneath my car to catch the opposing Shaun White team by surpsrise. Laughing and screaming and bottle rockets, was interupted by me coming to this morning running to the bathroom and throwing up. I have also heard that pregnant or not your dreams are determined by your temperature. and every night I have slept with a full blanket over me sleeping by my boyfriend doesn't really help I have had wondrous vivid dreams which I enjoy but again every time I am hot while I sleep I have morning sickness as well. Which I have now conquered with watermelon. Its a cure all. Its food and a drink. genius. 

I'm having a baby! I hate you, I love you

   I have been playing way to much candy crush saga.




  I thought my best friend Crystal was absolutely mad when she was always playing this game.
But in the attempt of trying to get my mind off things I downloaded it for android and I am obsessed.
If you need to stop obsessing over whether its a girl or a boy or the million other things to worry about when having a baby on the way, playing a game like solitaire is really effective of settling things down.

  My baby daddy and I have a great relationship, we've been friends for over 10 years and have been dating for nearly 8. But no matter...

How well you know someone expect that everything will annoy you that he does that you DO NOT want to pass unto your unborn child. 

 For the past two days we've been fighting. Not your typically stupid couple fight more like long conversation that gets heated. Even to the point of saying maybe we shouldn't do this. Baby daddy's even if your feeling like that so is she.

  So don't worry its normal!!! You've decided to be the best parents you can be!

but I will say DO NOT dwell on the things you two say to each other when the moments are heated.
and don't forget ladies to support your man as well. We do need more and the majority of support will go to you from everyone you know. I am lucky my parents are still together and are there for me matter what. Baby daddy not so lucky, he doesn't have either parent in the picture. So whether he has both parents or not remember that you needing him and this baby needing him is very stressful for a first time planned or unplanned pregnancy. So ask him how he is. You might be surprised what you hear and can use it as a way to connect.

   I am a talker and need reassurance. He's a lets not talk about it I know what I need to do.
and for the past two days I've hated him. I even said it out loud to one of our room mates and they told him. I felt bad but still I felt so much resentment and anger towards hims. Even though I know I love him and I want to do this with him and couldn't shake the fact of how he farts and lifts his butt up on one side, or how sometimes forgets to brush his teeth. Every food he doesn't like to eat I wanted to hit him so hard in his face and say do you want our baby to be picky like you??!!?!?

Then I realized this all comes from fear...

WE are afraid, it is normal to be. The black widow spider after becoming pregnant eats the male.
You may feel like this, hopefully you won't but when you do remember don't be scared. Whatever will be will be, and the more flexible and happy you are the easier the waves will crash over you. you can plant your feet into the sand and breathe when you can and when you have hold your breath keep your head up and clear because if you re flailing around you wont be able to see through the bubbles and you can become lost.

  Remember your creating life inside your belly!

You are the scientist, You are the creator, use your energy for positivity. 

I know I feel sick and tired and hungry all the time and that's exhausting.
Think about your anchor in the sand what it looks like who is apart of it.
picture the ocean swelling and receding. You re exactly where you should be.

your first baby doctor appointment may or may not be punk rock

So punk however does not mean that you are poor. In our case we are kinda broke. Never stopped anyone from having a successful childhood  especially if you're creative. So I have never been on unemployed whether i needed it or not, So going to places like social services may not be very enjoyable experience if you semi hate what it has done to our country. However social services are a needed service, people abuse them just like anything else.

So signing up for medical must be done at a social services center.

Online will not permit you to see the Dr.

We did not know this so I cried and the nurses helped me fill out my form.
I wouldn't say I am a cry baby, but dammit some times you gotta cry.

So once you find out your pregnant and your gonna be a rockin mom or dad
go to social services if you need it asap.
Hopefully you have insurance and you wont have to go thought that process.

Finding a doctor
Is so easy now online. I went through www.zocdocs.com

I found my Dr Dr. Christine Hoang.
She is actually completely wonderful and made us both more excited.
She is in a medical group which I would really recommend.
Its smaller and faster and doesn't make you feel like your there because your sick or in an emergency
like a hospital does.
If you've ever spent time in a hospital you know the feeling of being in one.
However if you feel safer in a hospital the ob/gyn is typically in more private section on its own.

What to expect from your doctor 
Expect to pee in a cup to once again get the You're pregnant
promise this is the last time someone will have to "break" this news to you
You will give blood

Biggest tip on giving blood if your don't like it
1. Do not let the nurse know you are nervous it has and will freak them out
because human beings do not like inflicting pain especially someone who is dedicating
their life to helping people feel better

and don't look!

As many times and I have had blood drawn I never like it and I never want to do it again.

Expect a pap smear. Yay fun it maybe the first time your baby daddy has
to witness what you endure every year as a womanly check up.
I think its good for you guys to see this. It will be smidgen of whats to come.
who's excited??

Hopefully your in complete health now, and next is the awesome part

The ultra sound
Experiencing this is mind blowing jaw dropping and completely fucking cool.
like science nerd insanely amazing chemistry set you have is naturally
voluntarily regenerating your DNA and your baby daddy's DNA into a
perfect little person. This is where fear slips away and your
really giving yourself some credit for being so bad ass.

I literally was jumping up and down after this or maybe  before it.
All together we spent 3 hours there so
Be sure to bring food with you and water !!! It is really important to make sure
that the dad or friend or mom or whomever had food to eat as they will get cranky and
piss you off.

punk rock mummies on may the fourth

If any of you have ever conceived when you weren't trying to or wanting a baby this story is for you. I am 25 with a budding career as a hairstylist in southern California. I have lived the past fast 2 years of my life giving every penny to parking tickets and living in Downtown La. I loved it and I hated it. I have been with my high school sweetheart for around 8 years. It was love at first sight. He came around the corner at a football game with blond dyed hair spiked up on his gorgeous Italian face complete with big brown eyes and longest eyelashes you've ever seen. I am hoping our baby get those lashes. We've moved back in together 2 months ago, officially one month ago... May the fourth free comic book day. My boyfriend loves his comic books apparently so much we got knocked up on that very day. I found out on 6.6.13 which I thought was an interesting date on its own. We went to the 99 cent store which by the way is the best place to buy at home pregnancy tests. We were pregnant, I peed on the stick and within seconds it was 2 lines. I didn't panic and calmly walked out of the bathroom where my bf was lying back on a large green yoga ball and thankfully he was alone. I mouthed at him..... I'm pregnant. He mouthed back.... what really? I sat down in our room he sat next to me. We live in a tiki hut paradise. Our room in literally painted as an Egyptian tomb (which was creepy at first) complete with hieroglyphs. Ill have to include pictures soon. I automatically considered abortion. Even though our undying love is apparent we know we want to get married and have children, but we had plans to travel, to live in New York and struggle and freeze and fight and love and sleep in the streets. We're your typical punk kids with political angst and less self regard than we'd like to admit. We dream of driving into the sunset with no regard to money or personal belongings. And like most 20 somethings were damn selfish. So in that little plastic stick we felt that all wash away. Immediately morning sickness set in. I was puking like a bulimic at a buffet dinner. Somehow the universe had set up that my roommate who is such a peach, had an appointment at planned parenthood. What the fuck right? So I went with her as young as she is she was very comforting and sweet to me. I had never set foot in a planned parenthood before that day. Never had been on birth control really since maybe i was 17. They confirmed what I had all ready known and as i fucking hate planned parenthood but I am pro choice I thought immediately they would push me to abort my baby as I had just been fired from my job and had no income of my own. The surprising thing was that they didn't they gave me the pamphlets for both well all three decisions and I made an appointment on my own to abort my baby 2 weeks later. Well the 17th with that date looming over my head and everything I have experienced in this past week I couldn't even though I know it would cheaper what an awful world we live in to murder own unborn because of money ruling our whole world. One thing on top of all of this I have Lupus. I have been going through chemotherapy like treatment for the past 3 months. My wonderful roommate helped me thought the whole experience I love her. Crystal mason if you ever read this thank you. Funny thing is the medicine I was suppose to be taken got lost after a trip back from Las Vegas my boyfriend and I took to Punk Rock Bowling. We saw Andrew Jihad Jackson if you haven't listened to them look them up they are amazing. I stopped taking my medication. I don't like taking medication and for some reason  I felt fine. Seal the singer Heidi Klum's ex husband has the same condition as I do. The scars all over his face are what I get in a full blown flare. And the marks and bubbles this time did not appear. Well thank God I stopped taking that stuff because it causes major birth defects. Today I am 7 weeks pregnant and I am feeling better than I have in about a year. Maybe this baby has cured me. :) We have a baby shower of my best friend back in Vegas at the end of this month. We went shopping for her looking at what we might have in store for us we handled it well with love as a team. We are in love with this baby and I just know its a boy. We haven't decided whether we will get married or not. Do you have a similar story? questions or comments? email me rachaelplassmeyer@gmail.com

All you expectant mummies out there good job. You're doing great

Nightmare Bacteria the truth between you and me

NIGHTMARE BACTERIA

Have you noticed many of your friends with new allergies to food. Mostly like dairy, soy, nuts, and fruit? 

Do your friends have stomach problems? Do you have stomach ailments worse than when you were young and yet you are eating the same things or maybe even healthier things? The answer maybe be frightening and you may know it already. FRANKENFOOD! 

   A study published late last year ( see link ) reveals that glyphosate-based herbicides like ROUND up suppresses the growth of healthy gut bacteria. Many studies also support the fact that low sodium diets contribute to the same destruction of healthy digestive bacteria. Did you know you actually need salt to make the acid in your stomach that digests food? However their is a difference between good salt and bad salt. Try to stick with sea salt or pink himalayan salt. Yes it may cost a little bit more, but in the long run it's worth it. 

   So we know that A. Pesticides being put on our crops and animals' food crops are being eaten by us as a collective and we are ingesting pesticide and killing healthy bacteria that in turn is what then promotes "nightmare bacteria."

 Okay so B. What is GMO and what does it mean for me as an individual and for us as a society?

A genetically modified "living" organism, made in a lab by modern biotechnology…. translation…they are taking the fundamental blocks of what we eat and are modifying it adding other blocks to support sustainability ( so the crops do not spoil as fast when transported) and support supply and demand. This mainly only benefits big pharma like Monsanto farms that sell to Walmart and most big fast food chains in the country. So yes that hamburger is one dollar. The meat from the cow was fed pesticides the lettuce tomato the "healthy" part of the hamburger is gmo. Frankenfood…. Add up a dollar for fake potato fries and a high fructose filled cancer drink and there you have folks!!! America recipe for slavery. We are a slave to the food corporation, but not for long! Fast Food equals death. So Take this information and run with it. The more people who are informed the collective thought grows. And even better, the cheaper and more relevant organic and sustainable farming becomes. We are the number one country in the world for heart disease and breast cancer. 

Kenya just passed a ban for no GMO in their whole entire country. Pretty progressive for a culture of people who are considered on western standards primitive. So why did our grand parents smoke tough, drink more, inside and out every day and never get the sort of diseases we have today??????? The answer is in the food. Party hard, eat organic, read c.r.a.k. 

www.wakeup-world.com/tag/gmo

look up on you tube video FRANKEN FOOD

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change

A wind has creating this and forever the leaves fall into pattern with ebb and flow of what has come and will come. going south to reflect on times that are new, somethings feel old. My body feels renewed and the learning curve has increased. The southern California fever is cooled as quickly as it sparks by the tide and the sea breeze. Black birds are found at the shore, the helicopters take a tour of the coastline, wanna make it a cost line. You will pay for happiness in every aspect of your life. Happiness can not be manufactured into a structure that developed as you age and your wallet determines your value. Value???

Value??
What is our value?
as an individual?
as a society?
We spew charity and yet engage in every war in history.
We developed a hierarchy with in our own minds eye of what pinnacle, what blood line, what job title has wealth.

None of this is the reality in which we live daily. WE live typically in our heads and connect hopefully with the people we love and work with on a social and nurturing level.

There are so many things associated with wealth.
Believe in the adaption of a collective thought.
Can we change society?
Of course we can. With a wide spread collective thought of change. We must change what we believe today as wealth. As wealth on this system is nothing more than a facade, an oasis in the desert. A creation of the bank to keep you in debt and structure you re life based on a pressure stress. it is designed to slowly kill you. our diet is designed to slowly kill you.

Collectively people are opening up to the ideas of respecting themselves and nature on a subatomic level. we are one. we are the collective. we are aliens. we are natural. we merely sustain ourselves from the earth we live on. we surrender ourselves to the matrix. the system of numbers and statistics to makes you nothing more that a ratio. A factoid for time magazine and scientists abroad. the funny thing about it? We have been tricked into wanted our own liberty stripped from us and most of of know the truth we are awake.